Time has passed; ten years to be actual. Your birthday is just another day now. I hate to admit it, Dad. But so much time has passed, my mind doesn’t even acknowledge the day as your birthday anymore. I’m not saying I completely forget your birthday because I still try to find a way to celebrate. It’s just … I don’t drain myself into a depressing hole. My mind had just accepted you’re gone and never coming back. It has been ten years since you passed away and another birthday without my dad.
My heart sinks as I remind myself your birthday is here again. It’s not as strong as my mind. The heart feels everything to the very last piece of pie that you know you shouldn’t eat but do anyway. It feels to the very end. I wish my heart would just let go like my mind. Time will never change my heart because you were my dad. My heart is obviously reminding me to miss you around your birthday.
I still can’t believe you have been gone for a decade. Where did the time do? How did time fly so fast?
Time has came and went, so another birthday is here without you. I’m sitting here wishing you were here. I wish we could have cake and opening gifts. I would love to cook you dinner for your birthday. Dad, I know how to cook more than Bake Ziti now, so don’t worry you would have more choices to pick from. You would be proud. If only, I could just show you instead think about how you would like my cooking.
I miss you so much, Dad.
I wish you weren’t in heaven. I wish you could be here with me. I wish you could celebrate your birthday with me.
I’m tried of wishing.
My heart just wants you here. It longs for your hugs and wonders what you would look like now. I want to hear your voice again. What does that even sound like? I really forgot. Ugh. Another wish … I wish I could remember what your voice sounds like or had a recording. Phones just started taking videos when you got sick towards the end, so I guess I didn’t want to remember you like that. I’m not really sure why I didn’t, but I regret it now. I would have saved it on a flash drive. Unfortunately, I didn’t and regret it now.
Time has changed so much dad in the last decade. I’m not even sure if you have adapted to all the changes if you were alive. You hated texting and would rather call people. I can’t even imagine you have a Facebook, but did you know that’s how people say “Happy Birthday” to each other now. No one really sends cards or calls on birthdays. It’s all about texting, tweeting (twitter), Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram now. If you’re wondering what these are all, they’re called social media. You would be so lost and confused about social media. A lot of other people are lost while others are adapting to the time period. You NEVER adapted to changes.
Oh, and didn’t you really have a home phone, so if people do call it’ll be on a cell phone. I know this may be crazy for you because in your eyes and time cell phones were only emergencies if you weren’t a teenager. Guess what? Companies have unlimited texting and data plans too, so all the birthday text aren’t going over a limit. You know I’m loving it. You can also tell someone happy birthday with emojis (smiley faces and more) and memes (short videos with words). I love emojis and memes. I bet you’re not surprised.
The world has changed so much. I’m only mentioning the ones rather to birthdays. I would do here forever if I told you everything. My point is times have changed without for a whole decade.
It’s another birthday without you. It’s another day … another week … another month… and another year.
Happy birthday, Dad. I hope you have a great birthday in heaven.