Twelve Years Without My Dad

Today is the day. My dad’s 12th death anniversary is here. I’m feeling okay. I guess. The numbness is here but not as bad as it normally is on his death anniversary. I don’t know why. I feel fine. It’s only the morning. I know I have the whole day to get through still. Hopefully,…

Dear Mom Six Years Ago You Left Me

Dear Mom, Time just keeps moving on without you. It’s starting to see as if another day now. I hate how it’s feeling like a typical day. My heart still feels heavy as always on this day. But it’s different because I’m trying to not let it drain me. I can’t let the numbness and…

Wake Me Up When October Ends During The Pandemic

As October starts, I can't help myself from thinking about what if my mom was alive. October has always been my favorite month but the last almost 6 years brought on a roller coaster of emotions. Luckily as my daughter gets older, the pain of my mom’s death anniversary disappears in the air. She loves…

Today Marks A Year For The Closing of My Mom’s House

A year ago today, my mom’s house was sold. I have mixed feelings about this day. The day itself was emotional and has a hold on my heart. I wish I could still go to this gorgeous house and visit my mom. I hoped this day was a nightmare this last year, but of course,…

Spring Feels Broken This Year

I normally love spring. It always makes me happy and reminds me of the true meaning of beauty. The tree are blossoming. Flowers are popping up. Spring is here, but this year is different. Everything is falling apart. Nothing is the same. COVID-19 is taking away the meaningful things about Spring that I love and…

Wandering Thoughts of Grief

The thought of not having you around breaks my heart into a million puzzle pieces. I’m trying to pick up the pieces, but nothing works to ease the pain. My heart longs to have you back into my life. I feel as if I lost a part of me when you Died. Every day is…

The Pain of Being Motherless When You’re 30 Or Younger

The loss of a mother is unbearable and sucks the life out of you. Yes, I do believe losing a mom is hard at any age, but it's different when 30 or younger because you're going through stages of your live which a mother is centered around, such as having a kid, getting married, graduation,…

Please Send This Letter to Heaven

Dear Mom, I miss you so much. I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since you left me. My heart is aching with pain today. Time is flying way too fast without you. I hate how much you’re missing. I guess I’m just going to have to fill you in. My daughter started Preschool in…

Warning To All The Motherless, Grab A Tissue Box Before You Listen to Andy Grammer’s New Song

I don’t know if you hear Andy Grammer’s song about his message for a medium giving by his mom to write his new song called "She'd Say," but you must!!! I’m crying so hard right now because it’s so touching. It’s exactly what my relationship with my daughter feels like every day. I’m always telling…

When Anxiety Creeps Up On Me And Takes Over

Anxiety loves messing with my head. It fills up with doubt as if a What If Monster creeps inside my mind. I get lost in a heavy, dark cloud hanging over me. My mind spins in circles as I begin to freak out. I start to overthink EVERYTHING and sometimes have panic attacks. Everything starts…