Mother’s Day is here again. It’s a bitter sweet holiday for me. I’m a motherless mom. Every year, I get messed feelings of joy and sadness. I can’t help it. My mind just doesn’t know how I should feel. I want to be happy because I love being a mom to my beautiful daughter. Then, I have a moment of sadness where I wish I could see or ever just call my mom. As the years go on, I still don’t know what I should feel. It’s 7 years now … 7 long years of both being a mom and motherless. This year is a different Mother’s Day just like the year COVID hit.
I have COVID this year. I’m quarantined and can’t go out to lunch like planned. My heart is feeling heavy as I’m not feeling well. Depression is making quarantine on Mother’s Day even harder than normal. I’m feeling worse than when my state had a lockdown because no one could go anywhere. I know I can’t help it, but the Facebook post are going to be painful for another reason this year.
My puppy is making resting impossible for me. He doesn’t understand why all of us are acting strange, especially me. I’m normally always doing something around the house or playing with him. He also used to playing with his best friend across to the street everything. Now, he just has to look at him from across the street.
I’m trying to figure out how to get through this. My mind isn’t okay. Today is beyond hard. I guess I will just have to stay strong and get as much ready as I can.
Ps sorry this is late. I didn’t make it. I did a lot of crying.