Parentless

Christmas Eve After Quarantine Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve at my mother in law’s feels like it happened so long ago because of the pandemic. It was so nice to spend time with family on Christmas Eve.

The simple things were taken for granted before the pandemic. I just expected to see family on Christmas Eve but when I couldn’t I was in such a dark place because family is everything to me.

I can feel myself being happy again. My smiles feel real instead of fake and focused.

Quarantine took a huge toll on me; probably more than I showed everyone. The fact that I couldn’t see family destroyed me.

Christmas was my dad’s favorite holiday, so he made it a huge deal every year. He decorated the whole lawn with lights and Christmas theme figures. Our tree was real and always decorated with ornaments and lights for top to bottom.

I haven’t gotten myself to go all out like him. Maybe one day I will have the spirit like him. But growing up like this made me cherish Christmas.

After he died, I lost my Christmas spirit then it faded when my mom died. My little princess and being surrounded my family helped me find the spirit whne needed.

After quarantine Christmas, I appreciate this time of year even more as if I’m a little girl myself living with my mom and dad again. I know they’re not physical here but I can feel them mentally with me.

It’s nice to have my Christmas joy back. I know last year was tough but this year is on whole new level of happiness for me. I’m just ecstatic beside for depressed like I normally am.

I guess you can say … I didn’t know what I had in my life until it was temporary gone.

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