Thanksgiving is a holiday where you share what you’re thankful for with others. The typical things people say they’re thankful for are their Mom and Dad. Sometimes, other things are mentioned but it’s mainly Mom and Dad. They should be because parents are wonderful figures in our lives. Moms and Dads do so much for us if they’re active in our lives. I have a confession. I’m jealous of the people who have parents to be thankful for this year and every year.
This year holds a heavy pain in my heart because my state is in the midst of a second wave now. The numbers are rising again, so Thanksgiving is off this year. Plans are being broken. Nothing feels the same.
Thanksgiving plans normally help me not think too much about the ascent of my parents. I can’t this year because plans are different. I have plans with my boyfriend’s grandpa’s house but it’s not going to be everyone there. He has a big family, so it’s going to be different. We’re also going to be wearing masks as well. For the last two years, I typically go to my uncle’s with my boyfriend and my daughter but he canceled this year because of COVID-19. I loved our new tradition because my daughter is getting my mom’s family. My mom may not be around but I think it’s important for her to know them as well. My daughter loves the drive to my uncle’s because he lives in the mountains.
My uncle is a doctor, so he doesn’t want to put us at risk. I’m thankful he’s thinking of our health, but it still makes my heart feel heavy. I’m yawning for something “normal” during the pandemic. My head is spinning just thinking about Thanksgiving. I can’t get over the fact that we’re still living in the crazy pandemic world. I wish it was a nightmare I need to wake up from instead of the new reality.
I’m falling into a deep depression. It came over me out of nowhere. I thought I would have been fine since NOTHING is like the way it was last year. I was COMPLETELY wrong. My depression is putting me in a black cloud. I’m trying to stay positive but it’s not working. I don’t know how to get out of the fog I’m in.
Maybe if I think about what I’m thankful for will help me see the light. Ready?
I’m thankful for …
my daughter.
my boyfriend.
my house.
my car.
the family I do have.
my boyfriend’s family.
having food in my house.
the things I love left from my parents.
pictures of my parents.
my Xbox.
my tv.
my books.
my nook.
my instapot.
my crockpot.
coffee.
tea.
writing.
my blog.
shoes.
hoodies.
Wow, okay I have a lot of things in my life to be thankful for. Maybe the next time I’m feeling blue on Thanksgiving, I should take the moment to think about what I’m thankful for.
Depression loves to stop me from thinking about the positives in my life.
I need to learn to take down depression. I can win.
Thanksgiving may not be the same, but I will get through it. I am strong. I can survive another pandemic let down.
Confessions of a Parentless Mother 