Dear Mom,
Time just keeps moving on without you. It’s starting to see as if another day now. I hate how it’s feeling like a typical day. My heart still feels heavy as always on this day. But it’s different because I’m trying to not let it drain me. I can’t let the numbness and heartache take over me. I know you wouldn’t want me too anyway.
Guess what?
Your granddaughter is a Kindergartner now! I can’t believe how much time has passed with her. Kindergarten is the same this year with the pandemic, but one upside is I’m not alone this year. She’s attending virtual school. I like how I can hear how what school’s going on in and what’s she’s learning.
My daughter is the perfect dose of happiness today. She’s trying to keep me laughing and smiling even though she’s home and in school. She made me shake sadness out when her class did the “Shake Your Silly Out” song. I couldn’t help but be happy.
Life is different right now. Mom, I wish things were different for my little Kindergarten. I know you’re would too. Things will get better at some point. I hope at least.
I know you’re watching over my little family and me every day. I can feel you in my heart and around at times. Thank you for still being here for me.
Please continue to help me. I lose control over my emotions from time to time. I wish you were here on earth with me. Can you please give me the strength from heaven to get help with my emotions? I don’t know how you can but I’m sure you will find a way. You were a very determined woman when it came to helping people. I used to love that about you.
It’s raining today. I feel as if the earth is crying for me, so I don’t have to myself.
I don’t want to cry this year. I think I have moved past the crying stage of grief. I’m moving to accept you’re not coming back to Earth instead you’re in my heart now.
Pooh Bear is doing good. He’s still my daughter’s best friend. She leaves him home a lot now but still needs him to cuddle at night. Pooh Bear helped her get through the first few days of virtual kindergarten. She had such a hard time adjusting to the new school way. Pooh Bear happily helped her like her ways does when her anxiety creeps up on her.
Anyhow, I love you and hope you have a wonderful day with dad in heaven.
Always love,
Your daughter on Earth
Confessions of a Parentless Mother 