Grieving For A Mother Takes Time, So Keep Your Head Up

As I look out the window as the rain falls from the sky, I wonder if the pain of losing my mom would even heal itself or at least I will learn to cope with her death.

The truth is I don’t think I will never heal or learn to cope. Why, because a loss of a mother has a greater pressure on your shoulders.

It’s because a mom is so much more than just the person who raises you.

She was my best friend. She’s your rock. She was my support system. She never judges me. She’s just was here for me when everyone else turns on me.

The list could go on and on. Because the bond between a mother and daughter is special. Nothing else is like it.

It’s like the old saying says, “Your mother is your first best friend.”

What happens when your best friend is gone?

My disappear into swirl of days, months, and years. Everything feels mushed together into one huge endless day. I really don’t know the difference between day and night anymore.

People keep telling me that I have to keep my memories of my mom dear to my heart. Believe me, I do keep them close to my heart.

But you know what, sometimes it’s not good enough. Memories can’t replace everything.

Memories can’t hug me or kiss me when I long for my mom’s touch. Memories can’t talk me out of an anxiety attack like my mom could. Memories can’t fix everything.

I’m sorry, but they just can’t.

Yes, I cherish my memories of my mom. I always will. But I will also always long for her presence in my life. It’s just going to happen. I can’t help it.

I have come to the conclusion that it’s okay to long for her touch. Because it’s normal to miss hugs and kisses when someone isn’t in your life anymore.

I’m never going to get over the fact that she’s missing in my life. I never want to because it’s a huge part of who I am today.

My grieve isn’t making me weak.

It’s helping me grow into a stronger woman for my daughter to one day look up to and know life isn’t perfect.

I may still be depressed about the loss of my mother. But that’s okay because there’s no shame in grieving for someone who meant the world to me.

Check out my page, Kimi Ann-Marie for various of posts about life, mom life, and grieving. Check out my page, Positive Thinking About Parents Death for grieving advice about your mom or dad and reminding yourself you’re not alone.

6 thoughts on “Grieving For A Mother Takes Time, So Keep Your Head Up

  1. For me the loss of my Mother, 20 years ago, led me on a journey of self discovery – would I be the person I am today if I had lost her when I did? No. It’s like a furnace the grief over the loss of a Mother – transformed me, especially when you lose them before you start making the milestones that society sets. My Mother died before I met my partner, before I had my only child, before a huge raft of events that I wish, and still long for her to have been there.

    I am a completely different person, because the loss ground me down, and I had to rebuild myself from the very basics. It’s never going to be easy, but it has I think become easier at least for me as I learnt the skills I needed to deal with my grief. My grief is still there – 20 years later, but it’s muted by time.

    Hold onto your memories, I’m at the stage where I’ve forgotten the sound of her voice, and her smile only exists in photographs now…..there are somethings you will be able to hold onto more easily than others.

    My advice is also let yourself feel this grief, it’s not depression (I had people telling me I was depressed when in actually fact after seeing a grief counsellor who told me that it was grief). Society almost begrudgingly gives us one year of grief at that, when it takes many years to work through all the emotions tied up with losing someone as fundamental as a Mother. Grief is anger, it’s rage, it’s sadness, its joy, its everything we feel for that one person we have lost rolled into a squirming ball of darkness that we have to learn to live with.

    Take the time to grieve and acknowledge the life that has meant so much to you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re still so new to the loss. My best advice is to be gentle with yourself and accept that though time will not heal, it will help you grow to understand the ways you can adapt to the loss.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.