Wishing Heaven Had a Better Connection

In 2009, I lost my dad. Then, I lost my mom in 2014. As the days go by, I wish I could call or FaceTime heaven to tell them what’s happening in my life. I know they are my Angels. I can feel them around me all the time. It’s not the same. I desire a better way for contacting my parents.

I want to hear my mom’s voice.

I yearn for hear my mom’s voice when something exciting happens in my life. I miss hearing her voice when I’m sad. I long for hear her voice when life defeats me. I wish for her to call my phone when I need someone to lean on.

I want to hear my dad’s voice.

I wish for my dad’s voice when I need cheering on. I long for hear his voice when I need pep talk. I miss hearing his voice telling me to stop overthinking every single thing in my life. I yearn for hear his voice saying “Good Morning, Princess.”

I want to FaceTime my mom.

I would like to FaceTime my mom when I miss her smile. I wish I could Facebook my mom to see her eyes blink. I crave to see her face when I’m feeling down. I long for seeing her words match up with her voice.

I want to Facetime my dad.

I long for my dad to even know what FaceTime was because he passed before it existed. I crave to hear his laugh when I would have shown him how FaceTime works. I wish could see his smile when he figured out how without me. I would like to FaceTime my dad when I need a good laugh.

I want to text my mom.

I wish I could text my mom when my daughter says a funny sentence. I long for texting my mom about writing opportunties. I miss sending my mom, “Good Morning,” every day. I yearn for to see her name pop up on my phone.

I want to text my dad.

I yearn for teach my dad the value of texting. I miss watching him use a phone keyboard, looking puzzled. I long for to see ‘dad’ show up on my screen. I wish he could have the chance to learn how easy and fast texting is.

Let’s face it. Heaven does not have a phone to call, text, or FaceTime. As much as I wish heaven did, I know a phone is not the way to connect to my parents anymore.

I am starting learn and discover better ways to keep in connection with the afterlife. For example, I call out to my mom or dad when I feel like I need their guidance. Calling out is not going to give me a verbal response like a phone would, but instead I get physical signs or blind signs my parents are around. Physical signs can range from a lost item randomly popping up to helping me get home when I am driving close to “E.” Blind signs can range from figuring out a problem instantly to reminding a memory similar as a current situation. The key is to look for signs instead of worrying about what I cannot have in the end.

Check out my page, Kimi Ann-Marie for various of posts about life, mom life, and grieving. Check out my page, Positive Thinking About Parents Death for grieving advice about your mom or dad and reminding yourself you’re not alone.

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